Tuesday 30 June 2009

Fire Festival Fuels Faction Feuding

Factual filings from Veritia Invino...

Midsummer Fire FestivalOVER the last week there has been reported a significant increase of street violence in big cities as well as a number of Horde attacks on peaceful rural communities all around Azeroth. The escalation of crime is said to be triggered by Midsummer Fire Festival activities.

As the nations of the Alliance gather peacefully around bonfires to celebrate the unity of the Sun and the Moon by traditional maypole dancing, bonfire jumping, festive food and drinks, jealous Horde members attack unsuspecting guests and put down and desecrate fires. Several citizens were wounded in a heroic stand against attackers when a rummaging band of rascals raided Stormwind and Ironforge in a futile attempt to steal fire from the city pyre.

Our sources of information claim the Horde are trying to copy long-established festival and make similar efforts to hold large bonfire parties in their lands. Unfortunatelly, they miss the main point of the traditions being joy and peace, and turn them into aggressive drunken orgies. Both the King and festival Loremasters encourage brave adventurers to stop their unworthy efforts.

Last Saturday a group of diplomats escorted by a regiment of Immortalis representatives were delegated to investigate the case and discuss the problem with the leaders of the Horde. Again, none of them deemed the issue worthy their time, and the diplomats were not only refused the audience with any of them, but they also faced hostility and threats from both the guards and citizens of Orgrimmar and Silvermoon!

Thursday 25 June 2009

S(h)econd Murder Victim Found In Teldrassil!

Filed by our myshterioush deathsh correshpondent... hic!
Teldrassil Wisp - Wanted for questioning
FOLLOWING the recent tragic death of the Night Elf Lunaarion Grovewhisper, a second victim has been found on the World Tree, in a similar state to the late Druid. The corpse is still unidentified due to the scale of disfigurement it has endured.

Investigators described the incident as "more than a coincidence" and that "we have one prime suspect thanks the aid of a Gnomish witness."

The witness, who preferred not to be named, was later found in Ironforge by our local reporters there for interview.

"Yeah... That guy washn't too lucky, eh? I shaw every minute of it and the murderer to boot. Had a camera with me and everything. Took a picture, shee. He [the murderer] wash one of thoshe wishpy guysh or whatever you wanna call 'em. Never trushted them myshelf," the Gnome said in a casual tone.

"It wash kinda weird, he [the victim] kinda shrivelled up and turned into shomething that looked like it had jusht been pulled out of the Great Forge. Couldn't shee hish facshe, by the way. And I don't have a photograph of him, either. Oh yeah, don't ashk why I had the camera, too."

Investigations are still being held as to the whereabouts of the suspect wisp, but it is fair to say that it is still at large and deducable that it is highly dangerous. A file snapshot (courtesy of the witness) is published above.

Still No Leads On Deeprun Tram Vandalism

From our man in Deeprun... Will he ever escape? WHO KNOWS?

Deeprun TramTHE Ironforge Guard are still disillusioned as to just who destroyed crime-fighting Gnomish technology in the Ironforge Deeprun Tram station.

A few months ago, a computing device was installed in the station which was designed to keep a full, secure database record of all criminals against all authorities in the Eastern Kingdoms known to the Alliance. Built by the best Gnomish engineers, the ground-breaking device was a step towards making the Eastern Kingdoms a safer place from inside threats for the inhabitants of the Alliance the continent over. The device was entrusted to the Ironforge Guard, who vowed to keep the area it would be installed in secure night and day after the machine was turned on.

One morning, last year, however, Deeprun Tram station was found broken into barely two days after the installation of the Gnomish tech. It was found, vandalised and beyond repair along with the bodies of the Gnomish overseer of the Tram station and a Dwarfish Ironforge Guard. Investigators found no evidence of arcane residue, fingerprints, murder weapons or anything that could be related to the vandalism and murder cases.

Now, five months on, both the Ironforge Guard and investigators are still baffled as to who commited these crimes and still have yet to re-write all records of known criminals and their criminal activity in the Eastern Kingdoms, the original paper records having been destroyed by the authorities the day before the installation of the criminal database to ensure that the data within the database never leaked.

The Ironforge Guard earlier today warned civilians of the Eastern Kingdoms to "be wary and stay vigilant" and that "criminals now have the upper hand on the authorities of the Eastern Kingdoms, however, we are remaining vigilant and ensure all civilians that to make up for these past few months of strife, once we re-compile the records, a sweep shall be undertaken that will aim to eradicate at least half of the known criminals on the continent."

Critics are still saying that this claim is merely a bluff towards active criminals and that most of the resources required for a sweep of the continent's criminals is being spent on the war in the frozen north.

Wednesday 24 June 2009

Fashion Weekly: These clothes - inferno!

With Kat Jones...

Kat Jones - She knows fashion!HEY, you gorgeous things, I'm Kat Jones. When it comes to fashion and beauty, I’ve tried it all – hair extensions, kodo dung paste and tar pit baths. Come to see me as I rummage about my clothes rack or check out newest beauty products and treatments! Let’s get this glam party started!

Fire festival vestments – looks that require minimal effort, defy humidity and are simply HOT.

So finally, it's Solstice and time to begin the Midsummer Fire Festival! If you weren’t chosen to be the Flame Keeper this year, don’t fret!

Brazier of Dancing Flames It's a chance to celebrate the hottest season of the year by lighting great fires across the land, having posh barbeque parties, playing tricks on the Horde, and a great excuse to get yourself some new, sexy outfits too!

The biggest hit last summer was the Brazier of Dancing Flames (left)and the costumes it supplies to all the party guests.

But, as much as it looks really hot, appearing as a dancing naked female Draenei in some places will be considered faux pas.

Don’t worry, there are other options...

Summer Vestments (Female)Traditional vestment of summer, together with matching sandals and possibly mantle and crown too, make for a nice summer dress perfect for some pole dancing, and is a great way of showing off your body without exposing too much skin (right).

Summer Vestments (Male)This enlightening three-piece set comes in all sizes, and is unisex, so you can persuade your date to dress up to match you.


Also, it's made of fireproof materials handy for games of torch tossing (left) and catching and comes with little tricks that make your feet and hands appear on fire.



Fashion with Kat Jones - CloakDesigners didn’t forget those who have to work defending our homes and have no time to party.

They are able to choose between a range of cloaks (right) to keep of Northrend cold – Shroud of Winter’s Chill and Cloak of the Frigid Winds are designed especially for wizards and have plenty of pockets to hide their wands, potions and spell reagents.

Fashion with Kat Jones - TabardThe Frost Lord's War Cloak has a special cut so it doesn’t get in the way while swinging your weapons around while Icebound Cloak was embelished with icicle-like crystals that increase its strength.

They all come in a nice bluish hue with red and gold trim. Remember to wear it together with Midsummer tabard (left) in the colour of your choice – fiery orange or cool icy-blue!


It's easy to be breezy about life in warm-weather months, but keep some warnings in mind so you don't get burned this summer:

  • Day drinking can be frickin’ awesome, but Fiery Festival Brew will make you dehydrated in no time!
  • Yes, you need sunscreen. Don’t even ask!
  • Find yourself some summer fling, just make sure you don’t expect anything long-term!
  • A little bug spray will go a long way. Yeah, it sucks – but so do mosquitoes!
  • Wear a nice hat – I’ll show you the top trends next week!

Friday 19 June 2009

Verdauga splits from the Eyes

And changes his name too...

Verdure WhitecloudIT has been reported that Verdauga Whitecloud has recently left his long term guild The Thousand Eyes. Days before, the guild had seen to have been divided. Sources inform us that Verdauga had been leading in an erratic and unpredictable manner which had caused the split. His behaviour has been associated with his apparent corruption earlier this year by an Old God who can not be named.

Verdauga Whitecloud was always a Druid with strong views on tribalism and tradition and The Thusand eyes was based upon his beliefs. Verdauga formed The Thousand Eyes some eighteen full moons past. The guild was formed with the intention to "uphold the tribal ways of the Horde" and to "honour the ancestors and their teachings". The guild became well-established in Kalimdor and continued to thrive despite negative media attention surrounding Mr Whitecloud. The Thousand Eyes never made any significant military efforts but was fairly substantial in the Horde as an order of specific culture and teachings.

Mr Whitecloud was unavailable to comment today but released a public statement today claiming the change to Verdure (which means green and freshness) was to respresent his fresh start.

Sage Stoneshatter had this to say, "Many members had become increasingly annoyed and upset by the way the Wildlord, Verdauga - though now known as Verdure - was acting so I started a breakaway group (The Opened Eyes)."

We asked if she knew why Mr Whitecloud changed his name: "From what I understand it was to try and escape past events and start again with his life."

The question on our lips now is what will become of The Thousand Eyes? We pressed Miss Stoneshatter for a response. "Well recently Verd stood down from leadership in the Eyes and gave it to my close friend Braan. Many members of our new group The Opened Eyes have expressed a wish to stay here and others to return to The Thousand Eyes so the future depends on our members."

We spoke to Argronak Sourheart and asked him what his opinions on the situation with the Eyes is. "Well seriously I'm really confused with the whole 'Opened Eyes' business.. and since The Thousand Eyes has been around for so long it would be a shame to see them fade."

We asked Argronak if it was true that notorious Eyes killer Yorup was part of The Opened Eyes. "What?! He is??!"

What does Argronak think will happen to the Eyes? "I don't know.. I hope the newly formed Opened Eyes revert back to The Thousand Eyes, hopefully a long existance of the Eyes can continue."

Verdure was snapped in Moonglade earlier today We asked him if he knew what happened to Verdauga. "No... all I've been told is the "Opened Eyes" left due to some corruption or something along those lines. I dont knowwhat happened to him [Verdauga] personally."

It is evident that there are some who still care about the primitive guild of The Thousand Eyes, therefore if it is on its way down ,it won't go without a struggle.

Thursday 18 June 2009

Theft in Icecrown!

Crusader Jereck Serethil writes...

Argent TournamentTROUBLE has sparked a near conflict between The Sunreavers and The Silver Covenant at the argent tournament grounds in Icecrown. It was reported that in the early hours of yesterday morning several items of value were stolen from The Sunreaver's tent whilst the Quartermasters were asleep.

Amongst the stolen items were a Sin’dorei warblade, multiple lances that were property of the Horde and several bags full of Champions' marks. In monetary terms,the losses are estimated at 7,000 gold pieces, which has The Sunreavers fuming. We spoke to Amariel Sunsworn, a Sin’dorei of The Sunreavers, who claims to have caught a glimpse of the assailant.

"I was tending to the mounts outside as something had obviously disturbed them. One hawkstrider was so distressed that it bolted, I ordered the guards to retrieve it as I made my way back into the tent. Upon entering I saw a person clad in black leather – a rogue no doubt - carrying multiple items which are property of the Horde. I attempted to polymorph him in an effort to stop him but upon seeing me he let off a smoke bomb hopped on an Argent hippogryph and escaped."

The rogue in question stood about 5-6ft high and was wearing a black hooded mask. The only feature recognisable was his wispy blonde hair that came out the back of his hood. Unfortunately the culprit’s race could not be defined however several races have been ruled out. This leaves us with the options of Human, Sin’dorei, Forsaken or Kal’dorei.

Justicar Mariel Truehart speaks on the matter, "We at the Crusade are devastated by this heinous act that has not only resulted in the loss of thousands of gold in oods, but has also effectively raised tensions between the two factions that we are trying to unite with the spirit of competition here at the tournament. Any information regarding the theft should be reported to myself or Jereck Serethil who has taken a personal interest in this case."

Justicar Truehart can be found in the westernmost tent on the Tournament grounds and I can be contacted by mail. May the light shine upon you all.

Addendum: Tribute to the Fallen

Icecrown - MonumentUnfortunately many Crusaders have bravely fallen this week whilst defending assets, citizens and land from the relentless Scourge across Northrend. May the light guide their souls to eternal peace.

Remember our fallen heroes:

  • Crusader Dronek Saldan - deceased
  • Justical Fanthrose Subitar - deceased
  • Defender Ralithor Stoutfist - deceased
  • Crusader Gorfandon Beezlebrew - missing in action
  • Champion Guth’dar Mondrek - missing in action

Wednesday 17 June 2009

Deeprun Tram Engineer Discovers Body!

From our local reporter in Stormwind

Deeprun TramWHAT would have been a routine inspection for the engineers of the Deeprun Tram yesterday ended in a horrific discovery of a half decomposed body. Lead investigator Lt. Frank Harlden said: “We cannot exclude an accident at this point but we suspect foul play.”

The body, which has been identified as that of Joalan Tarmikos, a cleric of the Cathedral of Light, was found with several stab wounds. Brother Sarno, spokesperson for the Cathedral of Light, has said that the Cathedral will be cooperating with the investigation and prays for a fast resolution of the case.

Chief of Operations Kinkle Fogtinker said to be surprised by the discovery. “Usually us find just corpses of rats or the occasional finger but this is completely new!”. Fogtinker expects that the body’s mangled state might be blamed on the state of the tram carts. “Us don’t have enough men to maintain those carts everyday, so at times some gears and bits stick out and you knows how fast these things go.”

Tarmikos was reported missing a month ago by his supervisor Brother Benjamin. “I had been guiding him through a difficult time, he had difficulty accepting the recent acceptance of the Ebon Hold order into the Alliance.” Tarmikos had been seen protesting against the Ebon Hold Death Knights on several occasions.

More on this as it develops.

Thursday 11 June 2009

A Scarlet Heart, Interview with Confessor Jandrissa

It’s a quiet evening beneath Stormwind’s Cathedral. I’m in a small, dim room lit only by torches. On one table in the corner are two skulls, and along the wall are a pair of Iron Maidens. Grim backdrop, but that’s all they are, backdrop, props of a sort. The air is dry and warm, and I’m comfortable. My host for the evening, Confessor Jandrissa of the Scarlet Crusade, agrees.

“A wonderful example of the power of the light, and of Humanity’s genius,” she calls the temple. I have to agree, it’s a beautiful building. It pulls you up, invites you to rise with the light each time you enter, pulling your heart and mind upward.

But this isn’t about my religious or personal thoughts, I remember. This interview is about Jandrissa. It’s appropriate then that we had the discussion in this side chamber, away from the main hall. It’s hard to focus on ourselves with our eyes pulled heavenward, after all.

“I was sworn into the clergy while travelling with the refugees from the Scourge attack on and Havenshire,” she says, in a voice heavy with memories.

Jandrissa was among the few survivors of the Scourge assaults into New Avalon. Before the attacks, she tells me she was studying to be a scribe. I have a hard time reconciling this tall, dignified woman’s appearance with the scribes I’ve seen, hunched with inkstained fingers.

“On the road, a traveler was injured, and when he fell my talent manifested. I called on the light, and healed him.” Her voice is different now. I can hear the joy, beneath the months of hard travelling, the long fight in a heavy cause. I ask her what it was like, because I already know the answer for me, but I can’t resist knowing what others think.

“It is a tremendous feeling, of knowing everything is right and meant to be. It makes me feel safe, and certain of the future.” She pauses a moment, as if thinking, and then continues, “I am chosen to be an agent of the will of humanity.”

The Light as the will of humanity, it’s an interesting thought. Humans were the first Paladins during the Second War, after all. So it’s troubling, she says, that people can’t understand the mission of the Crusade. “Se spend every waking moment fighting the scourge and protecting the innocent. What could be more noble?”

I ask her about the inquisitions, the rumors of torture and attacks with only the flimsiest evidence, and she dismisses these as ‘lies, disinformation spread by the scourge.’ As proof that the Crusade is going in the right direction, she reminds me that the Lich King attacked them, not the Kingdom of Stormwind. “This proves how noble we our, and that we’re the greatest threat in his eyes.”

I ask her about the other enemies arrayed against the Lich King, such as the Argent Dawn, and she dismisses them, albeit not as readily as she did the rumors of the Crusade’s misdeeds. She acknowledged that the Dawn had helped in the plaguelands in the past, but condemned them for ‘abandoning’ Lordaeron to host their tournament in Northrend. When I asked whether it might not be as useful to rally the hearts and minds of the people as to fight the scourge nonstop, she asked me how selling doublets, kissing frogs, and having a joust could do that any better than a great victory on the field.

She makes a compelling point. I’ll have to travel to the Northrend tourney sometime, and see if that’s indeed the case.

So, what about after the war, I ask her? Do you have plans after the scourge are gone?

“Well, the Horde need to be removed, and defeated as well. Especially with the Forsaken still in Lordaeron.”

I ask if that means there’s a difference between the Scourge and the Forsaken, but she shakes her head. “They’re the risen dead, one and the same.” She doesn’t seem to care that the Forsaken have fought the Scourge as often as anyone else, and I don’t see reason to mention it. The key point isn’t whether one threat is exactly allied with another, but that the Confessor wants both threats dealt with in equal measure, with the full resources of Lordaeron and Stormwind bent to the task, to reclaim the kingdom of the north.

I push again with the previous question, asking if she can ever see herself at peace, then what would her plans be? The answer surprised me.

“I could help begin rebuilding, and try to raise a family.”

She must have seen the surprise, because she smiled and continued. “Every Crusader has such dreams, Janarriel, though we know they are far off. But even if it doesn’t come in my lifetime, victory is assured. We trust in the Light.”

And clearly they do. They wield its power, in battle and in prayer, just as do the Silver Hand and Argent Dawn, and all the paladins who travel their own path.

We talked for a while after, about personal matters, before we parted ways. As we left the Cathedral, I couldn’t resist asking one more question. What would she have *me* learn of the Crusade, as a personal seeker of knowledge?

“Go to the plaguelands and see for yourself. Know our enemy, and you know us.”

It’s a hard thing to hear. A woman close to my own age, defined by her enemy. I don’t know if I can understand that concept, I’ve never been defined by anything except the Light. But I was only a child when Stormwind fell in the first war, and I can’t remember the devastation. My fight with the Horde is ideological, not personal in the very visceral way that Confessor Jandrissa’s fight with the scourge is.

Perhaps that’s why I can’t understand the Crusade. I don’t know that I ever will. But I understand Confessor Jandrissa a little more, and I hope the Light shines on her path in these dark days.

Janarriel of Stormwind
Paladin of the Silver Hand, Stormwind City

Tuesday 9 June 2009

Answers to our esteemed Reader's letters.

Busybody from Theramore- We know not where heads of canned sardines end up.
N. the Blood Knight- Your poem, starting with words "Pregant you are - ah, why isn't it my fault," will not be printed.
Outraged- The mage was right; one cannot insist on a portal to places without an arrival point.
Mr. N. P- You have won the wager; Terpsichore is not a Blood Elf holiday.
Johnny- No. Subscribing to our paper does not remove you from active military service in Northrend.
Mr. Ants-In-Pants- The first symptoms usually appear after three days. Contact a Shaman.
Anonymous- And you - my ethereal one.
Engineer- We don't believe a method of discerning legitimate and false coinage based on their taste after melting them is practical.
Faerlina of Naxxramas- Please contact a gynaecologist.
Grenzel D. of Everlook- The editorial office does not lend money to readers, no matter how much they love us.
Mr. Moritz in Tinker Town- 1) Kil'jaeden and Archimonde - yes, but King Varian Wrynn is most probably not a demon lord. 2) O'ros is not a type of crocolisk. It's a Naaru.
Vereesa- You cannot count on that, especially because almost every of our co-workers is either incompatible, betrothed or married. We know not of any infallible, undetectable poisons.
Sympathiser OF Sen'jin- We admit that the price is indeed low, but the office will not buy these pants.
Daisy of Darnassus- We do not know how to say "halva" in Orcish.
Punch and Judy- We understand the difficulties, but we cannot rent the building for an hour; that would set a precedence.
Natural Philosopher- Water indeed does begin to boil at 100 degrees of heat, but your question of how water knows when it is indeed 100 degrees, we cannot answer.
Berelien Blesswind of Silvermoon- Frugality is a beautiful trait of personality, we admire the noble cause that has made you write and send your proclamation to us, but shoe polish cannot possibly replace elven hair grooming products.
Guy from Dragon's Turnabout- You just need to write; Thrall, Orgrimmar. Answering your second question, we allow ourselves to express an assumption that a human will have difficulties getting the position of Chief Warlord of the Horde.
Paladin- Basically you have been sent to find a mythical creature in order to look for an another mythical creature.

((Kindly donated by Edanna.))

Grimm's death not a suicide?!

From our reporter at Thelsamar;

The investigation concerning the mysterious death of Punwicket Grimm has been brought to our attention again; Punwicket Grimm used to be a member of the so-called Redwing Mercenaries, but died under mysterious circumstances. His body was found earlier this year near the lake of Loch Modan, and it was quickly assumed he had committed suicide. However today, a spokesperson of the local Mountaineers made another statement:

"I"m tellin' ya, it ain't nae freakin' suicide. We'd be findin' clues tae le' us believe otha'wise. Fer tha sake o' tha ongoin' investigation, I can't tell ya tha' details, bu' we think we may be havin' a lead tha' should bring us tae a breakthrough relly fast!"
Al thus the leading investigator, Mountaineer Grimson.

Neither Grimm's family, nor any member of the Redwing Mercenaries are willing to comment on the new found progress.

Bizz Rocketpencil

A list of objects found recently in the Deeprun Tram, compiled by inspector C. Loewenstein

1. A milk-giving goat (one udder), tattooed "Amberstill."
2. A long beard (bleached beige hue).
3. A coffee grinder with a note "Compulsory Society of Coffee Grinder Owners" (CSCGO).
4. An elderly lady, stuffed with sawdust (in the future please do not call such pranks on our inspectors - they are living beings too. The Deeprun Co).
5. A ram steak, wrapped in "The Ironforge Times" (shame on the culprit).
6. An egg-laying goose.
7. A worg pup.
8. A very strange glass device with a three-yard rubber pipe attached.
9. An elderly gentelman who has been lost by his grandson.
10. A three-yard long woolen stocking, left.
11. A statue of Thrall on a mount (brass, 1000 lbs, 'tis a very funny business so we're asking for contact).
12. A children's book "Why is Azeroth egg-shaped?" (Stormwind Publishing).
13. A children's book "What hath Azeroth of eggs?" (Gnomeregan Bookes).
14. A children's book "Is it true that chickens lay eggs?" (Gnomeregan Bookes).
15. A children's book "Chickens, eggs and You!" (Gnomeregan Bookes).
16. A reference book in five tomes "The sexual life and habits of butterflies and moths (heredity, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, middle age, old age, rheumatism).
17. A children's book "Where do butterflies have their eyes? Where?!?" (Stormwind Publishing).
18. A gentleman who claims to be a garden gnome (until a garden gnomette claim him he works in our editorial office).
19. A fishtank; the fish grew up to be so large that it sleeps in the editorial offices' bathtub.
20. A pair of trousers with underwear, Draenei-sized.
21. Handcuffs with a severed Trollish arm.
22. An old wardrobe.

Sent in by Edanna Kal'es

Fish 'n' Bakes: A Brief History

It must be bizarre for outsiders to watch, really. Several dozens of adventurers – some in full armour, some hardened warriors only previously seen on the battlefield now wearing ornate dresses and beautiful, decorated, and most definitely non-functional weapons. Diversity is rife: from tall, overbearing Tauren to the short Gnomekind and every size in between, right down to the shapeshifted Druids and Shaman; men and women, Horde and Alliance stand side by side. The sole uniting feature? Fishing rods, cooking fires, and use of them.

The Fish 'n' Bakes have been held on Azeroth for over two year. Matriarch Astra, Ethnarch Delanae, Exarch Qialynna and Exarch Antares of Athanatoi (all ranks are stated as they were at the time) conceived them in their current incarnation. Originally, they were held as small meetings around a campfire to raise the morale of the soldiers after long fights. They proved popular among the scouting unit which the Athanatoi was at the time – eventually, the decision was made to open them up to the rest of the Alliance (and, eventually, the Horde too). It was also decided that they ought to use them to teach the rest of the Alliance the survival skills that the Athanatoi had drilled into their heads – the ability to fish for food and the ability to cook the food they caught.



The first official Fish 'n' Bake – under that name – was held in February of the 31st Year AO (Anno Orcini, or After the Orcs). The events were held every two weeks for a while – there was a lull in their appearance for a few weeks over the summer period of the 31st year before the mantle of organising them was taken up by myself, Pentrarch Sprangler-Darksprocket. The marches that made an appearance in many early Fish 'n' Bakes have also made their recent comeback, with some success. They are still going - even after the reformation of the Athanatoi under the new name of Immortalis.

The key ideas of Fish 'n' Bakes is still to teach as many people as possible to fish and cook whilst at the same time giving them a chance to unwind from the stressful mercenary lifestyles a lot of us lead today. However, Fish 'n' Bakes have also included many other events over the months – such as story competitions, further survival training, base-jumping lessons, pet competitions, and more. There is also frequently a fireworks display as supplied by Mr Niblit, and a non-competitive story-telling session around a warm fire after the sun has set. These events are open to all, which is key to the relaxed atmosphere.



Previous events have turned out to be great successes, including the most unusual Hillsbrad edition - which included the special and unexpected guest appearances of El Pollo Grande and Narillasanz. The date of the next event is always a little uncertain, but the general populace will be kept posted via notice boards and flyers.

I have greatly enjoying bringing you these events thus far and hope to do so many times in the future. I trust many of you will attend the next time, and as many times after that as you can – it doesn't cost anything, and is a great way to wind down. See you next time!

Penned by Mrs Pentrarch Kall Sprangler-Darksprocket, of Immortalis.
Pictures by Ms Ethnarch Senya Clearlight, of Immortalis.

Monday 8 June 2009

The Herald

From the shimmering space-desk of Al-asoth

Excellent news, humanoid customers! We, the Consortium, are making a rare and tremendous offer. We will distribute your photographs, your interviews, your many opinions, with only a moderate fee to read them! Simply send your fleshy brain-thoughts to us, and we will make them available for all to see.

Some rules apply: defamation of character is to be avoided, unless you are defaming such characters as "The Lich King" or "Sargeras". Your next-door neighbor is not included in this group.

Your vocabulary should not dwell entirely on very rude four-letter words.

You should endeavor to keep your work free from the rantings of a diseased and tortured mind. The Anchorites will be sent to claim any who speak of "terrifying malign intelligences" which control us from afar.

((No drama, very little profanity, no OOC. Send your submissions to shatarherald@gmail.com ))