The Outland Restoration Project: Hellfire, Part 1

I'm only human. An odd caveat, maybe, but the point still stands. I wasn't there the whole time, and some times I just plain didn't pay attention. So if I've missed something...

Recruitment's never been my scene – too many people shouting their name and skills over each other, too much queueing. Not my thing. So when I turned up to the Blasted Lands last Sunday, I was... Well, surprised. I had been expecting the usual – a rag-tag band of out-of-luck mercenaries, interspersed with the odd glory-seeking crusader, resplendant in golden armour. I wasn't expecting a group of very well-trained people, all of whom with a genuine interest in actually reinforcing Draenor. But there they were – names like Girem, Vashnu, Martin Northwall, even the oft-gossiped-about Gaebriel of Sunshine.

It was one of Gaebriel's own that was leading this effort, a sickly-looking Draenei Mage by the name of Lyandri. While the plans were all being hashed out – with the occaisional interruptions from one particularly mouthy little mercenary – the Horde were doing their usual incomprehensible shouting and wild gesturing, which eventually resulted in them charging through the portal on foot. I didn't even see if they took supplies. Meanwhile, we were packing up mammoths and elekks with food, weapons and timber, the kind of things that would help the beleagured soldiers in Honor Hold. It was all going fairly well, until the scouts sent through the portal mentioned that the Legion were a lot more active.

I suppose subtlety is difficult when your partners in this little effort confuse “restoration” with “decapitation”.

The Alliance, now packed up and ready to go, rushed in through the portal. What we saw was fairly usual, just more of it – Pit Commanders leading vast amounts of infernals and other demons to attack the defenders, and now the Horde – while we neatly sidestepped the action and loaded up gryphons and drakes with supplies. It really set the tone for the rest of the expedition. I'll do my best not to be entirely condescending, but I can only report what went on...



When we finally arrived at the base, we were finally treated to a slightly longer speech from our fearless leader.

"I would like to thank you all that have come here to lend aid. Your effort, and your presence is appreciated. Your work remembered, and the ones you aid, honored by your side. I, myself, am honored to have you all by my side in this."

We were then rudely interrupted by balls of green, infernal, flaming rock. This was probably not the best of starts, but it can always be worse.

Of course, it got worse.

Within about ten minutes of us getting the supplies sent into storerooms and the inn, the Horde attacked. Two of them, supposedly – I didn't see much of them, other than the red smear, which is quite difficult to see on the red rock, covered by red dust, with red light beating down on it. Either way, we knew that we were in for a rough time. Our own “scouts” were sent out in earnest, their flying machines and dragons running around the peninsula. It was all things we already knew – the Legion were mounting last-ditch attacks, the independent factions like the Broken and Illidari getting more than a little antsy...

Those of us who expected boundless glory, wenches and ale may have been somewhat disappointed, as a few people were immediately sent to put the timber to use. No one complained, however, and within a few hours we had a good palisade taking shape around the destroyed walls. This reporter can neither confirm nor deny the fact that he may have used an ornate spyglass to look at a certain pair of barely-clothed paladins at work.

Ahem.

Anyway, diplomacy. We weren't just here to reinforce the Hold – we were also here to ensure that the Temple of Telhamat was safe, amongst the other forward positions dotted around – Shatter Point, et cetera. As the evening marched on, we began to make some serious progress. The walls took shape. An alchemical investigation was being launched into the foul earth of Hellfire. Even a marvel of engineering was built by two competant Gnome engineers – a loudspeaker, to save Lyandri from breaking her throat open trying to shout everyone together. People were working hard – and things were taking shape. I spoke to a few of the soldiers on duty, and they all seemed fairly pleased. Efforts had been made to reinforce them in the past, but this was the first one that seemed to get stuck into it without having to be showered with piles of cash.



In fact, we were so enthused by our progress, that an attack was lead on the Abyssal Shelf, against the vast amount of Fel Reavers and Gan'arg experimenters. This resulted in a couple of small casualties – which is probably to be expected, to be honest – but also a good morale victory. Sticking your boot up the arse of the Burning Legion is always quite satisfying.

Which is probably why they sent the Eredar to intimidate us... I'm afraid I didn't write the speech down, I was too busy yelling “OH, PIKE OFF!” with the rest of the defenders.

If there's one thing I've learned here, it's that the Alliance hasn't got patience for those who shout and gesture.

We just get stuck in.

Kristofer,
Licensed and Registered Sky-Privateer

Argents Devastated: Jereck Serethil Betrayed!

Prolific reporter Crampleflap Fizzlewrench explains it all...

THE mission was simple: establish relations with the Warsong Defensive. The Golden Crusader and a band of loyal Justicars embarked on a diplomatic mission into the Tundra in an attempt to seek more reinforcements of the Warsong Defensive to aid the effort in Icecrown.

On direct orders from Tirion Fording, bearer of the Ashbringer, the group of Paladins were seeking a peaceful discussion. They were gravely mistaken. Tensions have always ran high with Garrosh Hellscream manning the keep, yet Thrall had managed to keep him under control, at least for a while.

Jereck, who strives to resolve the differences between the sentient races of Azeroth allowed me to join him on his diplomatic mission on a strictly journalistic basis. We set off from Valiance Keep and headed across the tundra towards the looming keep that is Warsong Hold. The Orcish architecture seemed sinister yet impressive by any standard.

As we neared the entrance Garrosh himself, accompanied by a troop of worg riders surrounded us and this conversation transpired between Garrosh and Jereck:

"Lay down your weapons, Alliance scum! You are trespassing in my keep, and now you are my prisoners."

"Lord Hellscream, we bear the banner of the Argent Crusade, we mean you or you people no harm."

"Silence! You shall be taken to the keep and shown to the dungeons."

"Hellscream! We are here on Behalf of Tirion Fording! Icecrown needs your aid, you must list- ugh..."

Jereck was knocked out by a brute with a club, seeing the meeting was turning sour I hid behind a conveniently placed Nerubian corpse.

"Take him and the others to the keep."

And with that they took their leave and the Crusaders with them. Upon seeing this I attempted to get a better view of where they were being taken however, the Keep is far too large and well guarded for me to have entered. No word from the Golden Crusader has been received, however one Crusader who managed to escape gave us a short statement:

"They... they wouldn't listen... Jereck kept trying to plead our case... but they would just torture him, so the rest of us stayed quiet. Jereck did not quit... the resolve was in his eyes so they took him away... we didn't see him again. Hellscream let us go... but he kept Jereck... I... I am the only one who survived the trip home, the rest, weakened by our imprisonment were easily slain by the scourge. He told me to apologise to Fording... but that he would keep Jereck due to his lack of obedience a-and insulting manner... that's just not Jereck.... he... he was just trying to help us all... Hellscream wouldn't listen to him... he wouldn't listen... now Jereck is doomed to a fate of torture and pain... or worse..."

The Crusader who asked not to be named has taken a leave of absence and is now recovering in the Exodar under the healing light of Prophet Velen and the Naaru. Word from Jereck is yet to be heard, but does hope remain for our grand Crusader? Only time will tell.

Thrall has told us that he is trying to negotiate Jereck's release yet he believes that Hellscream wouldn't lie about Jereck and that if he was infact insulting and disobedient, there isn't much he can do. So to my brothers of the Alliance, I leave you with this: will you leave the Golden Crusader to his fate? Or will you fight to get him free? I know I will. The light help us all.

Trust and Judgement

An interview with Grand Crusader Dathran

"Perhaps we could build elsewhere, even as we fight to reclaim Lordaeron and its lost glory, but where is there to go? There's no room left in the world for that. We have our mission."

These are the words of Dathran, Grand Crusader of the Scarlet Enclave. He's a powerful man, and I don't mean politically. Sitting across from him, I can sense the strength in him, the utter will behind his ever word. It's an imposing moment. He's courteous, that isn't the problem at all. It's not anything he does wrong, his behavior is entirely correct, polite, and refined. Yet I can feel the violence caged inside this man, the strength waiting to be let loose. And the fact that he can control it so well is all the more intimidating, because it hints at the power of the mind and the will inside his head.

Dathran is the son of a Paladin of the Silver Hand, and himself a former priest. He was raised in the Church, and aspired to proclaim the faith to those who would be his flock. It was, as we know, not to be. When Lordaeron fell, he took up the same path as his father, the way of the sword. Soon after, he joined the crusade. "I joined as it was forming, in fact. And because of how violent those first days were, my rise was…swift."

Very swift. He achieved the rank of Vanguard far quicker than usual, perhaps faster than any who had preceded him. It's something I can believe, having been in a room with the man. It's also understandable what happened next, in that same context.

Not content with the aims of the Crusade, or its lack of progress, Dathran soon broke ranks with his superior, Abbendi. Not long after, he says he was declared the Grand Crusader of the Scarlet Enclave as a whole, by universal acclaim of the Enclave's members.

It's the kind of tale a braggart might share, but he tells it without embellishment or exaggeration. It's a recitation of facts he is comfortable in sharing, not intended to impress me but simply to inform, because I asked. I get the notion that he might not have told me any of it had I not brought it up first. He says what is needed, and considers it enough.

"We are not the old Crusade. Torture happened, yes. The Enclave doesn't use torture, though. We've chosen to reclaim our good name, to cleanse it through deeds that will inspire trust."

It's a different perspective than Jandrissa's, I have to admit. I ask how he copes with the task ahead of him, a task of two wars, one against the scourge and its manifestations across the plaguelands, and one in the hearts of the people the Scarlet Crusade has touched.

"I don't think of it that way, I rarely ever consider the whole grand project. I decide instead what task has to be done now, or soon, and then I break that into smaller tasks. If you treat each piece as important, then every victory becomes meaningful."

But what about the crusaders he commands? How does he keep control of such zealous people, some of whom might not be so able to step away from the larger picture into the needs of the moment?

"Trust," he says it without hesitation. "Trust and discipline, of course. We draw lines and limit ourselves, such as no longer using torture, but we also trust one another. I give men responsibilities, and I let them do what needs doing."

Trust. Such an odd word to associate with a movement that grew out of the Scarlet Crusade, with its secret inquisitions and torture chambers. Yet he says it the same way he explained his rise through the Crusade's ranks, and his appointment as Grand Crusader, simply and without artifice. So, he clearly means it, he believes trust is the power behind his movement's almost legendary discipline.

It's fascinating, such simple confidence, the guileless strength in his words. So then, as I asked another not so long ago, what advice does the Grand Crusader have for me, as a Paladin and a free sword?

He scratches at his beard, and takes a moment to think. It's the first time I've seen him hesitate in any fashion. Is my question that weighty? Or was I being impertinent? It's hard to know.

"Be devout, loyal, strong in your faith, and above all value your principles," he finally says. "As Paladins, we are often called to judge. Never, ever try to judge yourself. Let others judge you, and listen. If the judgment is against you, strive to prove them wrong. But if you cannot, you must change. Judge, but be judged as well, as I say."

History has already begun to judge the Scarlet Crusade, I think to myself. And the Crusade has judged right back, as has their successor, the Enclave. But even the willingness to admit that others' judgments might have effect worth noting, that their considerations mean we must change if we value the principles involved, is a titanic departure from the old Crusade. So perhaps we shall be so wise as to judge the Enclave and its Grand Crusader on their own merits. I know that after this discussion, I will be watching to do just that.

Argents to Begin New Offensive?

Martin Northwall writes from Icecrown...

Throughout the campaign for Northrend the Argent Crusade have earned themselves a reputation for their many battles against the Scourge. Recently the Crusaders have managed to capture ground in Icecrown including a small outpost before the Court of Bones itself. In northern Icecrown the Argent Tournament has been a controversial but popular draw, bringing in hundreds of the Alliance and Horde’s best adventurers and mercenaries daily. But it seems this has not satisfied their leader Highlord Tirion Fordring.

Sources within the Crusade have recently been hinting that the Argents will be pressing forward their advantage in a new assault against the Scourge. Several key outposts have begun gathering their forces and planning battle tactics. Furthermore their Vaults have been thrown open and powerful artefacts and magical weapons have been given to trusted agents.

News that the Coliseum at the Tournament is nearly completed lend weight to this claim. Highlord Fordring himself has claimed that the Coliseum will act as a test for adventurers, giving themselves a chance to hone their skills. Argents close to the Highlord have been on record saying this is to prepare for a siege upon Icecrown Citadel itself.

How does this affect you? The sources have consistently told us that recruitment for the Argent Crusade will soon undergo an increase. They are looking for anyone dedicated to the fight against the undead menace and willing to see it destroyed once and for all. For added incentive many of the items from the Vault are up for grabs for proven agents. If you’re interested in doing your part then keep an eye out for news soon. If your already a member of the Crusade there was also rumours circulating among our sources that a Conclave would be called at Light’s Hope as a show of unity as well as to flush out lingering Scourge strongholds in the Plaguelands.

A Crusader's Contemplation

Crampleflap converses with Jereck Serethil...

GREETINGS, readers! As you probably have noticed Jereck Serethil has popped up in many of my reports to date, and finally I have managed to get an interview with the holy crusader himself!

You have had an illustrious career with the Silver Hand, Lordaeron Royal Guard and now the Argent Crusade. Tell me, how do you maintain the will to keep going?

"In my past I have seen much conflict. Be it Horde or Alliance, both are ripe with corruption, hate and prejudice. Upon joining the Crusade - a neutral faction - I made it my duty to end the petty racism between the old enemies."

A Horde sympathiser? Really? I would not expect that from you. Supporting the savage Orc beasts.

"That is exactly the type of narrow minded tntolerance I have come to despise, Gnome. As I stated I am neutral, perhaps I am more inclined to aid the Alliance more than the Horde but both are guilty of heinous acts against each other and neither are in the right."

I doubt the King would take those words very lightly.

"So you are suggesting that myself, the Crusade and Tirion Fording himself are all traitors to the King. If the Horde launched an attack on the King I would give my life to defend him, but both sides need to lay down their age-old hatreds over trivial wars. Both are of equal blame and I cannot stress the importance of us working together to combat not only the Scourge, but also any other threat that may compromise the safety of all people. Orc or Human."

How can you be so callous towards the Horde's pillaging of our lands?

"Callous, no. Educated, yes. I do not agree with the Orcs' actions in Ashenvale or any attacks on lands that are of the Alliance, but the Alliance have committed similar crimes in the past, Gnome. Yes I have heard the screams of the innocent dying at the hands of the Horde, but I have also heard the screams of their children being slain and the cries of their mothers watching them being butchered. It is a double-edged sword... no-one is in the right."

Your patience with the horde is astounding. How did that come to be?

"I have no patience for the bloodthirsty amongst them, nor the ones who seek to pillage Alliance land. The Warchief however I do have patience for, he realises even moreso than our King that we must join forces if we are ever to repair this broken world. It is understandable that King Varian feels the way he does, due to the events that transpired after his kidnapping, and I do not blame him. I would probably possess the same hatreds if I was in his shoes. Thrall however accepts conflict with us is somewhat foolish, he just has a hard time keeping his leash on his forces."

If you had to chose, what faction would you fight for?

"Now that is a ridiculous question. Of course I would fight for the Alliance. I have before and I would again, but with the current turn of events in the north people must realise that unity is the key to victory. Tirion has stressed this so many times. Yet no-one will listen, all are to blinded by their prejudices, don't get me wrong many people have a reason to hate the Horde, but how can you accept the Ebon Blade into your ranks who have committed similar crimes and not the Horde? The Horde killed your family? Chances are the Ebon Blade had slain just as many. The Horde destroyed your lands? The Scourge destroy anything that gets in their way. So tell me, is it really that different? I will leave you to ponder on that."

Now that's food for thought if not anything else, and you know what? I am starting to see where he is coming from, but at least we know if push came to shove he would be backing our ranks.

Jereck left me with a message for Crusader Gaebriel of Lightsworn, "My allegiance is with the Alliance and always will be, yet at this current state of Azeroth we must put aside our hatreds and join together to destroy the Scourge. I will always be faithful to the Alliance and would never abandon them though you must realize without unity failure, death and destruction will surely follow."

Hard hitting words from a wise man. More news on the Tournament theft and those Scarlet rumors coming soon.

Can We Trust The Scarlets?

Crampleflap Fizzlewrench writes with rumours of civil war...

LATE yesterday evening, rumours were sparked of civil war between many forces of the Alliance and the Scarlet Enclave. From with their disagreement with the Ebon Blade, through to disobeying the King's orders to accept them as Alliance, it appears that many other Alliance forces have been rubbed up the wrong way by the crimson-wearing zealots.

The Scarlet Crusade, were formed by the remnants of the Silver Hand, many went to the Crusade, while many decided to form the Argent Dawn. In the past the Scarlets have been ridiculed and slain for their extremist and over-zealous actions which saw many innocents die at their blades. It was thought that their corruption was confined to the north of the Eastern Kingdoms but new reports show forces cropping up in Northrend. The Enclave claim to be separate from their transgressing brothers but with the recent revelations about possible betrayal and sinister intent, how can anyone be sure?

Although at this stage nothing can be confirmed, John 'Reaver' has clarified the fact that war may be imminent. With fresh fears of the Scarlets reverting to their old extremist ways many people have lost their trust in the Enclave and are ready to bear arms against them.

Many have always feared that the Enclave have a sinister objective hidden under their new-found repentance but until we get confirmation from the King many authorities have warned the general public not to take any "mercenary" action against the Enclave.

Yesterday I chanced upon a meeting between Jereck 'The Golden Crusader', Reaver, Girem and two unnamed Draenei speaking of the betrayal of the Scarlets and the correct actions to be taken. This is almost a confirmation that conflict may be inevitable. We have been unable to get a formal statement from Dathran, Leader of the Enclave, as of yet but a request has been sent for him to inform the public of the situation. The House of Wrynn is yet to issue a public statement so we are waiting on both of these figures to fill us in on the situation.

"It is indeed a dire situation, but we must look to the light and stay our blades unless we have no choice. We must seek counsel with our superiors and allies," Jereck told me when asking him about the Enclave, however he yielded little more information about the situation and refused to speak up on the chance of war.

So all seems sinister on the home front. With rumours cropping up everywhere it seems it is only a matter of time before the situation explodes. We warn all civilians to be very careful when approaching the Scarlet Enclave as we do not yet know their intentions. They have not yet officially been branded as criminals so please, for your own welfare, do not provoke or aggravate them.

Filradel's Feasts: Mastication is not a sin

Would you like Wafflefry with that?

AS the Midsummer Festival comes to an end, bonfires and barbecue parties are held all around Azeroth. We at The Herald want to help you discover a world of new tastes. We've gathered recipes that represent the very best of Old World specialties and then rounded out the collection with choice recipes from abroad.

Most basic of all barbecue techniques, grilling or spit roasting is cooking food directly over hot coals. In the old days, prime steaks were often the choice for grilling. But with today's variety of meat cuts and tenderizing methods, you can experiment with much many choices! Instead of plain sausages, links or wieners, try those marvellous recipes to amaze your guests and still entertain because the meats cook almost unattended.

Let's not forget it's festival season so theme your party around Midsummer and it’s fiery traditions. The recipes we use are easy even for a beginner cook and use convenient ready-made ingredients or can be prepared beforehand, so you can entertain with your guests while they slowly cook by the table. Start your dinner with either Crispy Bat Wings or Crunchy Spider Surprise to introduce the festive mood.

Accompany them with an assortment of fresh fruit and flavoury cheeses.

Beer Basted Boar Ribs, Charred Wolf Meat and Lean Venison are three main-dish favourites that the cooks have been improving upon for years. They may not surprise your guests, but they make for the homely atmosphere and everyone feels at ease when familiar with what they are eating! Side that with an assortment of hot sausages and toasted breads and buns, and don’t forget to supply plenty of ale for the thirsty.

The main entree and a show dish, Dragonbreath Chili can be made ahead and has an advantage of cooking slow and easy, plus the typical benefit from slow cooking – the longer you cook it, the more delicious it becomes. This potful of meat, vegetables, grog and cheese will be remembered long by your guests as it enables them to breathe fire.

Alternatively, for those on diet, supply Fiery Festival Brew and prepare yourself for a great fire-breathing and torch juggling show!

Finish your feast with a dessert of fine marshmallow, chocolate and sweet honey crackers in a Toasted Smorc made with a ready-bought ingredients, or all favourite Elderberry Pie. Garnish and decorate the table with a handful of summer petals or use a Brazier of Dancing Flames as a centrepiece of attention, and jump into your Vestment of Summer for completeness.

If you're aiming for foreign flavours, don’t worry. From Stranglethorn to Darnassus, good cooks have worked their magics with barbecued meats. You'll discover the variety of international tastes in the recipes here. Each of these dishes takes on a special character of its region of origin – be it by spices that season them, or by the way they are cooked or garnished. Feel free to pick and mix the recipes to create a unique feel to your cuisine. A honey glazed Roasted Moongraze Tenderloin is a classic Draenei main dish. Its sweet spiciness and fanciful garnish make this simple recipe a first class dish.

A subtle blend of stout, mustard and Mild Spices make the creamy sauce to accompany Roast Raptor served on a bed of fresh vegetables, a perfect dish for dark meat lovers.

The raptor pieces simmer first in the pan juices, which are then used to make a sauce, and are then turned to roast for extra crispiness.

Discover the flavour and elegance that wine adds to a traditional elven fare by preparing Kaldorei Spider Kabobs. Juicy meat pieces and different fruit give this dish a taste of spring orchards, and the colourful ingredients are an in-built garnish.

The bread stuffing in this Roasted Clefthoof makes it similar to classic game recipes of Eastern Kingdoms. Yet the unusual taste of the Outland’s best meat reveals its foreign character. The steaks are covered in a flour and spices mixture and roasted till tender yet moist.

Let's not forget all the fish-lovers out there! A sprinkle of sugar and Hot Spices adds a unique accent to Baked Salmon steaks. Both the steaks and the hearty stuffing you mound in the centre take on the pleasant smoke aroma and flavour when cooked slowly over medium-hot coals.

Festive Grilled Sculpin roll features shelled sculpins stuffed with juicy ham and herb seasoned vegetables, all wrapped up in crusty dough.

The inventive use of large Northrend seafood, herbs and carrots gives this dish a mixed sea and shore feel.

All prepared and taste-tested by Filradel.

Tournament Tribulations: Deviant Detected!

Dictated in Dalaran by Crampleflap Fizzlewrench...

FOLLOWING the theft reported in Icecrown last month, more information on the culprit has emerged this week. The thief stole thousands of golds worth of equipment from the tournament and tensions between Horde and Alliance have been running high since.

Earlier this week Crusader Jereck Serethil - nicknamed ‘The Golden Crusader’ for his exploits in the Order of the Silver Hand and The Golden Light - chanced upon an intoxicated Gnome in the Underbelly of Dalaran, and uncovered new information regarding the incident.

Having filed the original story on this case, Jereck was more than happy to fill us in on what has been going on...

"Hail, brother."

"My, you're a tall one, Jereck!"

"Heh, thank you."

"So we hear that you spoke to a Gnome about the theft?"

"Yes, I saw him laying down in the sewers, and due to my oath as a paladin, I stopped to help the poor fellow. As I knelt by him I noticed multiple Champion’s seals scattered around him and on his person. Calmly, realizing that these were some of the stolen goods, I shook the Gnome awake. Then I asked him where he acquired the seals. After rigorous questioning he informed me that they belonged to a Human, and that he was staying in Dalaran in the Ledgermain Lounge and that this man had dropped a bag whilst walking through the sewers."

"Oh? So what did you do then?"

"I helped the Gnome to his feet and re-claimed the stolen seals, gave the Gnome my blessing and continued to the Ledgermain, where, sure as day, I spotted a Human rogue at the counter flipping a seal with his thumb. I began to walk over to him and then Amarial Sunsworn walked in. Being the only witness to the case I was surprised to see him in such close proximity to the thief."

"Corruption at the tournament?!"

"Far from it, master Gnome. As soon as Amarial spotted the cur he yelled out “THIEF!” startling him and forcing him to run. I chased him to Krasus’ Landing, cornering him. I told him that he should turn himself in and not to incur my retribution, but the man was crazy, he leapt off the edge. Looking over I could see he had a parachute on. Unfortunately we were unable to apprehend the fiend due to weather conditions."

The Golden Crusader provided a description on the thief: He stands about 6ft tall and has deep hazel eyes, he has shoulder-length blonde hair and a scraggly beard. He also has a distinct scar underneath his left eye and a runic tattoo on his right forearm. Anyone who spots the thief has been told not to apprehend him unless they are sure of their combat skills.

The Argent Crusade has offered a 1000 gold reward to anyone who captures him alive. The thief will need to be questioned and the stolen goods returned so please do not kill the criminal unless you have no choice.

Addendum: Tribute to the Fallen

Once more we are saddened to report the following losses of brave defenders of both factions. Let us hope that their souls are at rest and that the Light will watch over them.

Remember our fallen heroes:

• Dunthor Rooblat - deceased
• Crusader Lendrick Stoutheart - deceased
• Justicar Plaran Lorth - deceased
• Justicar Wubsplink Boomcrank - deceased
• Crusader Joran Mulrow - missing in action
• Champion Dorabor Roundbelly - missing in action

Fire Festival Fuels Faction Feuding

Factual filings from Veritia Invino...

OVER the last week there has been reported a significant increase of street violence in big cities as well as a number of Horde attacks on peaceful rural communities all around Azeroth. The escalation of crime is said to be triggered by Midsummer Fire Festival activities.

As the nations of the Alliance gather peacefully around bonfires to celebrate the unity of the Sun and the Moon by traditional maypole dancing, bonfire jumping, festive food and drinks, jealous Horde members attack unsuspecting guests and put down and desecrate fires. Several citizens were wounded in a heroic stand against attackers when a rummaging band of rascals raided Stormwind and Ironforge in a futile attempt to steal fire from the city pyre.

Our sources of information claim the Horde are trying to copy long-established festival and make similar efforts to hold large bonfire parties in their lands. Unfortunatelly, they miss the main point of the traditions being joy and peace, and turn them into aggressive drunken orgies. Both the King and festival Loremasters encourage brave adventurers to stop their unworthy efforts.

Last Saturday a group of diplomats escorted by a regiment of Immortalis representatives were delegated to investigate the case and discuss the problem with the leaders of the Horde. Again, none of them deemed the issue worthy their time, and the diplomats were not only refused the audience with any of them, but they also faced hostility and threats from both the guards and citizens of Orgrimmar and Silvermoon!

S(h)econd Murder Victim Found In Teldrassil!

Filed by our myshterioush deathsh correshpondent... hic!

FOLLOWING the recent tragic death of the Night Elf Lunaarion Grovewhisper, a second victim has been found on the World Tree, in a similar state to the late Druid. The corpse is still unidentified due to the scale of disfigurement it has endured.

Investigators described the incident as "more than a coincidence" and that "we have one prime suspect thanks the aid of a Gnomish witness."

The witness, who preferred not to be named, was later found in Ironforge by our local reporters there for interview.

"Yeah... That guy washn't too lucky, eh? I shaw every minute of it and the murderer to boot. Had a camera with me and everything. Took a picture, shee. He [the murderer] wash one of thoshe wishpy guysh or whatever you wanna call 'em. Never trushted them myshelf," the Gnome said in a casual tone.

"It wash kinda weird, he [the victim] kinda shrivelled up and turned into shomething that looked like it had jusht been pulled out of the Great Forge. Couldn't shee hish facshe, by the way. And I don't have a photograph of him, either. Oh yeah, don't ashk why I had the camera, too."

Investigations are still being held as to the whereabouts of the suspect wisp, but it is fair to say that it is still at large and deducable that it is highly dangerous. A file snapshot (courtesy of the witness) is published above.

Still No Leads On Deeprun Tram Vandalism

From our man in Deeprun... Will he ever escape? WHO KNOWS?

THE Ironforge Guard are still disillusioned as to just who destroyed crime-fighting Gnomish technology in the Ironforge Deeprun Tram station.

A few months ago, a computing device was installed in the station which was designed to keep a full, secure database record of all criminals against all authorities in the Eastern Kingdoms known to the Alliance. Built by the best Gnomish engineers, the ground-breaking device was a step towards making the Eastern Kingdoms a safer place from inside threats for the inhabitants of the Alliance the continent over. The device was entrusted to the Ironforge Guard, who vowed to keep the area it would be installed in secure night and day after the machine was turned on.

One morning, last year, however, Deeprun Tram station was found broken into barely two days after the installation of the Gnomish tech. It was found, vandalised and beyond repair along with the bodies of the Gnomish overseer of the Tram station and a Dwarfish Ironforge Guard. Investigators found no evidence of arcane residue, fingerprints, murder weapons or anything that could be related to the vandalism and murder cases.

Now, five months on, both the Ironforge Guard and investigators are still baffled as to who commited these crimes and still have yet to re-write all records of known criminals and their criminal activity in the Eastern Kingdoms, the original paper records having been destroyed by the authorities the day before the installation of the criminal database to ensure that the data within the database never leaked.

The Ironforge Guard earlier today warned civilians of the Eastern Kingdoms to "be wary and stay vigilant" and that "criminals now have the upper hand on the authorities of the Eastern Kingdoms, however, we are remaining vigilant and ensure all civilians that to make up for these past few months of strife, once we re-compile the records, a sweep shall be undertaken that will aim to eradicate at least half of the known criminals on the continent."

Critics are still saying that this claim is merely a bluff towards active criminals and that most of the resources required for a sweep of the continent's criminals is being spent on the war in the frozen north.

Fashion Weekly: These clothes - inferno!

With Kat Jones...

HEY, you gorgeous things, I'm Kat Jones. When it comes to fashion and beauty, I’ve tried it all – hair extensions, kodo dung paste and tar pit baths. Come to see me as I rummage about my clothes rack or check out newest beauty products and treatments! Let’s get this glam party started!

Fire festival vestments – looks that require minimal effort, defy humidity and are simply HOT.

So finally, it's Solstice and time to begin the Midsummer Fire Festival! If you weren’t chosen to be the Flame Keeper this year, don’t fret!

It's a chance to celebrate the hottest season of the year by lighting great fires across the land, having posh barbeque parties, playing tricks on the Horde, and a great excuse to get yourself some new, sexy outfits too!

The biggest hit last summer was the Brazier of Dancing Flames (left)and the costumes it supplies to all the party guests.

But, as much as it looks really hot, appearing as a dancing naked female Draenei in some places will be considered faux pas.

Don’t worry, there are other options...

Traditional vestment of summer, together with matching sandals and possibly mantle and crown too, make for a nice summer dress perfect for some pole dancing, and is a great way of showing off your body without exposing too much skin (right).

This enlightening three-piece set comes in all sizes, and is unisex, so you can persuade your date to dress up to match you.


Also, it's made of fireproof materials handy for games of torch tossing (left) and catching and comes with little tricks that make your feet and hands appear on fire.



Designers didn’t forget those who have to work defending our homes and have no time to party.

They are able to choose between a range of cloaks (right) to keep of Northrend cold – Shroud of Winter’s Chill and Cloak of the Frigid Winds are designed especially for wizards and have plenty of pockets to hide their wands, potions and spell reagents.

The Frost Lord's War Cloak has a special cut so it doesn’t get in the way while swinging your weapons around while Icebound Cloak was embelished with icicle-like crystals that increase its strength.

They all come in a nice bluish hue with red and gold trim. Remember to wear it together with Midsummer tabard (left) in the colour of your choice – fiery orange or cool icy-blue!


It's easy to be breezy about life in warm-weather months, but keep some warnings in mind so you don't get burned this summer:

• Day drinking can be frickin’ awesome, but Fiery Festival Brew will make you dehydrated in no time!
• Yes, you need sunscreen. Don’t even ask!
• Find yourself some summer fling, just make sure you don’t expect anything long-term!
• A little bug spray will go a long way. Yeah, it sucks – but so do mosquitoes!
• Wear a nice hat – I’ll show you the top trends next week!

Verdauga splits from the Eyes

And changes his name too...

IT has been reported that Verdauga Whitecloud has recently left his long term guild The Thousand Eyes. Days before, the guild had seen to have been divided. Sources inform us that Verdauga had been leading in an erratic and unpredictable manner which had caused the split. His behaviour has been associated with his apparent corruption earlier this year by an Old God who can not be named.

Verdauga Whitecloud was always a Druid with strong views on tribalism and tradition and The Thusand eyes was based upon his beliefs. Verdauga formed The Thousand Eyes some eighteen full moons past. The guild was formed with the intention to "uphold the tribal ways of the Horde" and to "honour the ancestors and their teachings". The guild became well-established in Kalimdor and continued to thrive despite negative media attention surrounding Mr Whitecloud. The Thousand Eyes never made any significant military efforts but was fairly substantial in the Horde as an order of specific culture and teachings.

Mr Whitecloud was unavailable to comment today but released a public statement today claiming the change to Verdure (which means green and freshness) was to respresent his fresh start.

Sage Stoneshatter had this to say, "Many members had become increasingly annoyed and upset by the way the Wildlord, Verdauga - though now known as Verdure - was acting so I started a breakaway group (The Opened Eyes)."

We asked if she knew why Mr Whitecloud changed his name: "From what I understand it was to try and escape past events and start again with his life."

The question on our lips now is what will become of The Thousand Eyes? We pressed Miss Stoneshatter for a response. "Well recently Verd stood down from leadership in the Eyes and gave it to my close friend Braan. Many members of our new group The Opened Eyes have expressed a wish to stay here and others to return to The Thousand Eyes so the future depends on our members."

We spoke to Argronak Sourheart and asked him what his opinions on the situation with the Eyes is. "Well seriously I'm really confused with the whole 'Opened Eyes' business.. and since The Thousand Eyes has been around for so long it would be a shame to see them fade."

We asked Argronak if it was true that notorious Eyes killer Yorup was part of The Opened Eyes. "What?! He is??!"

What does Argronak think will happen to the Eyes? "I don't know.. I hope the newly formed Opened Eyes revert back to The Thousand Eyes, hopefully a long existance of the Eyes can continue."

We asked him if he knew what happened to Verdauga. "No... all I've been told is the "Opened Eyes" left due to some corruption or something along those lines. I dont knowwhat happened to him [Verdauga] personally."

It is evident that there are some who still care about the primitive guild of The Thousand Eyes, therefore if it is on its way down ,it won't go without a struggle.

Theft in Icecrown!

Crusader Jereck Serethil writes...

TROUBLE has sparked a near conflict between The Sunreavers and The Silver Covenant at the argent tournament grounds in Icecrown. It was reported that in the early hours of yesterday morning several items of value were stolen from The Sunreaver's tent whilst the Quartermasters were asleep.

Amongst the stolen items were a Sin’dorei warblade, multiple lances that were property of the Horde and several bags full of Champions' marks. In monetary terms,the losses are estimated at 7,000 gold pieces, which has The Sunreavers fuming. We spoke to Amariel Sunsworn, a Sin’dorei of The Sunreavers, who claims to have caught a glimpse of the assailant.

"I was tending to the mounts outside as something had obviously disturbed them. One hawkstrider was so distressed that it bolted, I ordered the guards to retrieve it as I made my way back into the tent. Upon entering I saw a person clad in black leather – a rogue no doubt - carrying multiple items which are property of the Horde. I attempted to polymorph him in an effort to stop him but upon seeing me he let off a smoke bomb hopped on an Argent hippogryph and escaped."

The rogue in question stood about 5-6ft high and was wearing a black hooded mask. The only feature recognisable was his wispy blonde hair that came out the back of his hood. Unfortunately the culprit’s race could not be defined however several races have been ruled out. This leaves us with the options of Human, Sin’dorei, Forsaken or Kal’dorei.

Justicar Mariel Truehart speaks on the matter, "We at the Crusade are devastated by this heinous act that has not only resulted in the loss of thousands of gold in oods, but has also effectively raised tensions between the two factions that we are trying to unite with the spirit of competition here at the tournament. Any information regarding the theft should be reported to myself or Jereck Serethil who has taken a personal interest in this case."

Justicar Truehart can be found in the westernmost tent on the Tournament grounds and I can be contacted by mail. May the light shine upon you all.

Addendum: Tribute to the Fallen

Unfortunately many Crusaders have bravely fallen this week whilst defending assets, citizens and land from the relentless Scourge across Northrend. May the light guide their souls to eternal peace.

Remember our fallen heroes:

• Crusader Dronek Saldan - deceased
• Justical Fanthrose Subitar - deceased
• Defender Ralithor Stoutfist - deceased
• Crusader Gorfandon Beezlebrew - missing in action
• Champion Guth’dar Mondrek - missing in action

Deeprun Tram Engineer Discovers Body!

From our local reporter in Stormwind

WHAT would have been a routine inspection for the engineers of the Deeprun Tram yesterday ended in a horrific discovery of a half decomposed body. Lead investigator Lt. Frank Harlden said: “We cannot exclude an accident at this point but we suspect foul play.”

The body, which has been identified as that of Joalan Tarmikos, a cleric of the Cathedral of Light, was found with several stab wounds. Brother Sarno, spokesperson for the Cathedral of Light, has said that the Cathedral will be cooperating with the investigation and prays for a fast resolution of the case.

Chief of Operations Kinkle Fogtinker said to be surprised by the discovery. “Usually us find just corpses of rats or the occasional finger but this is completely new!”. Fogtinker expects that the body’s mangled state might be blamed on the state of the tram carts. “Us don’t have enough men to maintain those carts everyday, so at times some gears and bits stick out and you knows how fast these things go.”

Tarmikos was reported missing a month ago by his supervisor Brother Benjamin. “I had been guiding him through a difficult time, he had difficulty accepting the recent acceptance of the Ebon Hold order into the Alliance.” Tarmikos had been seen protesting against the Ebon Hold Death Knights on several occasions.

More on this as it develops.

A Scarlet Heart, Interview with Confessor Jandrissa

It’s a quiet evening beneath Stormwind’s Cathedral. I’m in a small, dim room lit only by torches. On one table in the corner are two skulls, and along the wall are a pair of Iron Maidens. Grim backdrop, but that’s all they are, backdrop, props of a sort. The air is dry and warm, and I’m comfortable. My host for the evening, Confessor Jandrissa of the Scarlet Crusade, agrees.

“A wonderful example of the power of the light, and of Humanity’s genius,” she calls the temple. I have to agree, it’s a beautiful building. It pulls you up, invites you to rise with the light each time you enter, pulling your heart and mind upward.

But this isn’t about my religious or personal thoughts, I remember. This interview is about Jandrissa. It’s appropriate then that we had the discussion in this side chamber, away from the main hall. It’s hard to focus on ourselves with our eyes pulled heavenward, after all.

“I was sworn into the clergy while travelling with the refugees from the Scourge attack on and Havenshire,” she says, in a voice heavy with memories.

Jandrissa was among the few survivors of the Scourge assaults into New Avalon. Before the attacks, she tells me she was studying to be a scribe. I have a hard time reconciling this tall, dignified woman’s appearance with the scribes I’ve seen, hunched with inkstained fingers.

“On the road, a traveler was injured, and when he fell my talent manifested. I called on the light, and healed him.” Her voice is different now. I can hear the joy, beneath the months of hard travelling, the long fight in a heavy cause. I ask her what it was like, because I already know the answer for me, but I can’t resist knowing what others think.

“It is a tremendous feeling, of knowing everything is right and meant to be. It makes me feel safe, and certain of the future.” She pauses a moment, as if thinking, and then continues, “I am chosen to be an agent of the will of humanity.”

The Light as the will of humanity, it’s an interesting thought. Humans were the first Paladins during the Second War, after all. So it’s troubling, she says, that people can’t understand the mission of the Crusade. “Se spend every waking moment fighting the scourge and protecting the innocent. What could be more noble?”

I ask her about the inquisitions, the rumors of torture and attacks with only the flimsiest evidence, and she dismisses these as ‘lies, disinformation spread by the scourge.’ As proof that the Crusade is going in the right direction, she reminds me that the Lich King attacked them, not the Kingdom of Stormwind. “This proves how noble we our, and that we’re the greatest threat in his eyes.”

I ask her about the other enemies arrayed against the Lich King, such as the Argent Dawn, and she dismisses them, albeit not as readily as she did the rumors of the Crusade’s misdeeds. She acknowledged that the Dawn had helped in the plaguelands in the past, but condemned them for ‘abandoning’ Lordaeron to host their tournament in Northrend. When I asked whether it might not be as useful to rally the hearts and minds of the people as to fight the scourge nonstop, she asked me how selling doublets, kissing frogs, and having a joust could do that any better than a great victory on the field.

She makes a compelling point. I’ll have to travel to the Northrend tourney sometime, and see if that’s indeed the case.

So, what about after the war, I ask her? Do you have plans after the scourge are gone?

“Well, the Horde need to be removed, and defeated as well. Especially with the Forsaken still in Lordaeron.”

I ask if that means there’s a difference between the Scourge and the Forsaken, but she shakes her head. “They’re the risen dead, one and the same.” She doesn’t seem to care that the Forsaken have fought the Scourge as often as anyone else, and I don’t see reason to mention it. The key point isn’t whether one threat is exactly allied with another, but that the Confessor wants both threats dealt with in equal measure, with the full resources of Lordaeron and Stormwind bent to the task, to reclaim the kingdom of the north.

I push again with the previous question, asking if she can ever see herself at peace, then what would her plans be? The answer surprised me.

“I could help begin rebuilding, and try to raise a family.”

She must have seen the surprise, because she smiled and continued. “Every Crusader has such dreams, Janarriel, though we know they are far off. But even if it doesn’t come in my lifetime, victory is assured. We trust in the Light.”

And clearly they do. They wield its power, in battle and in prayer, just as do the Silver Hand and Argent Dawn, and all the paladins who travel their own path.

We talked for a while after, about personal matters, before we parted ways. As we left the Cathedral, I couldn’t resist asking one more question. What would she have *me* learn of the Crusade, as a personal seeker of knowledge?

“Go to the plaguelands and see for yourself. Know our enemy, and you know us.”

It’s a hard thing to hear. A woman close to my own age, defined by her enemy. I don’t know if I can understand that concept, I’ve never been defined by anything except the Light. But I was only a child when Stormwind fell in the first war, and I can’t remember the devastation. My fight with the Horde is ideological, not personal in the very visceral way that Confessor Jandrissa’s fight with the scourge is.

Perhaps that’s why I can’t understand the Crusade. I don’t know that I ever will. But I understand Confessor Jandrissa a little more, and I hope the Light shines on her path in these dark days.

Janarriel of Stormwind
Paladin of the Silver Hand, Stormwind City

Answers to our esteemed Reader's letters.

Busybody from Theramore- We know not where heads of canned sardines end up.
N. the Blood Knight- Your poem, starting with words "Pregant you are - ah, why isn't it my fault," will not be printed.
Outraged- The mage was right; one cannot insist on a portal to places without an arrival point.
Mr. N. P- You have won the wager; Terpsichore is not a Blood Elf holiday.
Johnny- No. Subscribing to our paper does not remove you from active military service in Northrend.
Mr. Ants-In-Pants- The first symptoms usually appear after three days. Contact a Shaman.
Anonymous- And you - my ethereal one.
Engineer- We don't believe a method of discerning legitimate and false coinage based on their taste after melting them is practical.
Faerlina of Naxxramas- Please contact a gynaecologist.
Grenzel D. of Everlook- The editorial office does not lend money to readers, no matter how much they love us.
Mr. Moritz in Tinker Town- 1) Kil'jaeden and Archimonde - yes, but King Varian Wrynn is most probably not a demon lord. 2) O'ros is not a type of crocolisk. It's a Naaru.
Vereesa- You cannot count on that, especially because almost every of our co-workers is either incompatible, betrothed or married. We know not of any infallible, undetectable poisons.
Sympathiser OF Sen'jin- We admit that the price is indeed low, but the office will not buy these pants.
Daisy of Darnassus- We do not know how to say "halva" in Orcish.
Punch and Judy- We understand the difficulties, but we cannot rent the building for an hour; that would set a precedence.
Natural Philosopher- Water indeed does begin to boil at 100 degrees of heat, but your question of how water knows when it is indeed 100 degrees, we cannot answer.
Berelien Blesswind of Silvermoon- Frugality is a beautiful trait of personality, we admire the noble cause that has made you write and send your proclamation to us, but shoe polish cannot possibly replace elven hair grooming products.
Guy from Dragon's Turnabout- You just need to write; Thrall, Orgrimmar. Answering your second question, we allow ourselves to express an assumption that a human will have difficulties getting the position of Chief Warlord of the Horde.
Paladin- Basically you have been sent to find a mythical creature in order to look for an another mythical creature.

((Kindly donated by Edanna.))

Grimm's death not a suicide?!

From our reporter at Thelsamar;

The investigation concerning the mysterious death of Punwicket Grimm has been brought to our attention again; Punwicket Grimm used to be a member of the so-called Redwing Mercenaries, but died under mysterious circumstances. His body was found earlier this year near the lake of Loch Modan, and it was quickly assumed he had committed suicide. However today, a spokesperson of the local Mountaineers made another statement:

"I"m tellin' ya, it ain't nae freakin' suicide. We'd be findin' clues tae le' us believe otha'wise. Fer tha sake o' tha ongoin' investigation, I can't tell ya tha' details, bu' we think we may be havin' a lead tha' should bring us tae a breakthrough relly fast!"
Al thus the leading investigator, Mountaineer Grimson.

Neither Grimm's family, nor any member of the Redwing Mercenaries are willing to comment on the new found progress.

Bizz Rocketpencil

A list of objects found recently in the Deeprun Tram, compiled by inspector C. Loewenstein

1. A milk-giving goat (one udder), tattooed "Amberstill."
2. A long beard (bleached beige hue).
3. A coffee grinder with a note "Compulsory Society of Coffee Grinder Owners" (CSCGO).
4. An elderly lady, stuffed with sawdust (in the future please do not call such pranks on our inspectors - they are living beings too. The Deeprun Co).
5. A ram steak, wrapped in "The Ironforge Times" (shame on the culprit).
6. An egg-laying goose.
7. A worg pup.
8. A very strange glass device with a three-yard rubber pipe attached.
9. An elderly gentelman who has been lost by his grandson.
10. A three-yard long woolen stocking, left.
11. A statue of Thrall on a mount (brass, 1000 lbs, 'tis a very funny business so we're asking for contact).
12. A children's book "Why is Azeroth egg-shaped?" (Stormwind Publishing).
13. A children's book "What hath Azeroth of eggs?" (Gnomeregan Bookes).
14. A children's book "Is it true that chickens lay eggs?" (Gnomeregan Bookes).
15. A children's book "Chickens, eggs and You!" (Gnomeregan Bookes).
16. A reference book in five tomes "The sexual life and habits of butterflies and moths (heredity, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, middle age, old age, rheumatism).
17. A children's book "Where do butterflies have their eyes? Where?!?" (Stormwind Publishing).
18. A gentleman who claims to be a garden gnome (until a garden gnomette claim him he works in our editorial office).
19. A fishtank; the fish grew up to be so large that it sleeps in the editorial offices' bathtub.
20. A pair of trousers with underwear, Draenei-sized.
21. Handcuffs with a severed Trollish arm.
22. An old wardrobe.

Sent in by Edanna Kal'es

Fish 'n' Bakes: A Brief History

It must be bizarre for outsiders to watch, really. Several dozens of adventurers – some in full armour, some hardened warriors only previously seen on the battlefield now wearing ornate dresses and beautiful, decorated, and most definitely non-functional weapons. Diversity is rife: from tall, overbearing Tauren to the short Gnomekind and every size in between, right down to the shapeshifted Druids and Shaman; men and women, Horde and Alliance stand side by side. The sole uniting feature? Fishing rods, cooking fires, and use of them.

The Fish 'n' Bakes have been held on Azeroth for over two year. Matriarch Astra, Ethnarch Delanae, Exarch Qialynna and Exarch Antares of Athanatoi (all ranks are stated as they were at the time) conceived them in their current incarnation. Originally, they were held as small meetings around a campfire to raise the morale of the soldiers after long fights. They proved popular among the scouting unit which the Athanatoi was at the time – eventually, the decision was made to open them up to the rest of the Alliance (and, eventually, the Horde too). It was also decided that they ought to use them to teach the rest of the Alliance the survival skills that the Athanatoi had drilled into their heads – the ability to fish for food and the ability to cook the food they caught.



The first official Fish 'n' Bake – under that name – was held in February of the 31st Year AO (Anno Orcini, or After the Orcs). The events were held every two weeks for a while – there was a lull in their appearance for a few weeks over the summer period of the 31st year before the mantle of organising them was taken up by myself, Pentrarch Sprangler-Darksprocket. The marches that made an appearance in many early Fish 'n' Bakes have also made their recent comeback, with some success. They are still going - even after the reformation of the Athanatoi under the new name of Immortalis.

The key ideas of Fish 'n' Bakes is still to teach as many people as possible to fish and cook whilst at the same time giving them a chance to unwind from the stressful mercenary lifestyles a lot of us lead today. However, Fish 'n' Bakes have also included many other events over the months – such as story competitions, further survival training, base-jumping lessons, pet competitions, and more. There is also frequently a fireworks display as supplied by Mr Niblit, and a non-competitive story-telling session around a warm fire after the sun has set. These events are open to all, which is key to the relaxed atmosphere.



Previous events have turned out to be great successes, including the most unusual Hillsbrad edition - which included the special and unexpected guest appearances of El Pollo Grande and Narillasanz. The date of the next event is always a little uncertain, but the general populace will be kept posted via notice boards and flyers.

I have greatly enjoying bringing you these events thus far and hope to do so many times in the future. I trust many of you will attend the next time, and as many times after that as you can – it doesn't cost anything, and is a great way to wind down. See you next time!

Penned by Mrs Pentrarch Kall Sprangler-Darksprocket, of Immortalis.
Pictures by Ms Ethnarch Senya Clearlight, of Immortalis.

The Herald

From the shimmering space-desk of Al-asoth

Excellent news, humanoid customers! We, the Consortium, are making a rare and tremendous offer. We will distribute your photographs, your interviews, your many opinions, with only a moderate fee to read them! Simply send your fleshy brain-thoughts to us, and we will make them available for all to see.

Some rules apply: defamation of character is to be avoided, unless you are defaming such characters as "The Lich King" or "Sargeras". Your next-door neighbor is not included in this group.

Your vocabulary should not dwell entirely on very rude four-letter words.

You should endeavor to keep your work free from the rantings of a diseased and tortured mind. The Anchorites will be sent to claim any who speak of "terrifying malign intelligences" which control us from afar.

((No drama, very little profanity, no OOC. Send your submissions to shatarherald@gmail.com ))